I don't know how many times it has happened. I've lost count. I can't believe how long it took to get here, but I know it'll happen again. Yes, a 56k dialup on Eircom. Or IOL, all the same. I get logged off - again and again and again. *Hmph*. there must be a solution? I know I'll find one..
I did. That was a year ago. Now I have the fastest, most reliable highspeed connection I could wish for. Hey, I can bring down a whole CD in just over an hour if I want and I just clocked it at 3.6mbps. Cool. You want to know where I got it, don't you? Heh - Canada. (I'm coming home soon).
Yeah, I know. The truth is that you cannot get REAL broadband yet in Ireland. I've looked and the packages cost the same as Canada, the presentations look as good as Canada - but the speed? Nada, 512 kbps. Half the standard elsewhere. Awful.
Is is just another rip-off? Probably. Can we do anything about it? Probably not. Yes, the Irish will eventually get real internet access, but not until the monopolies have finished fleecing us for our last (used to be punt) euro. It's the same - remember ISDN? Heh, that would have been funny if it was written in a cartoon book, but it was SOLD to us. And we all know they're gonna charge us a fortune for yesterday's technology. But we don't get mad - because we're nice. Grrr. I'm not feeling nice.
I think that possibly the funniest screnario in the rollout came after we'd been told that we'd have highspeed lines within months. So, I went to look for it. Also, can I mention how much I hate the full-page ad that you plaster on the site, Eircom? People, check your email by POP3 - get an email client. And eircom, get a user-friendly website by a real web designer in Ireland.
When I had finally fought my way through the ads, there it was (75 links deep, but), there it was. Fifty euro for a slow line - half the speed of other countries. Hey, thanks Eircom. Don't worry folks, when they've finished selling as many of these boxes as they can, they'll come back and sell us what they should have sold us in the first place. Then again, Captain Kirk might be exploring the deepest corners of the universe as we know it by then..
Ok, so I thought 'I'll have one - because I've got no choice'. So, let's click 'Order'. 'Please enter your telephone number in order to see if broadband is available in your area'. I did. It was a bit like 'County Mayo? Westport? Where? And you want what? You mean you don't live within a 3 mile radius of Dublin City Centre?' That's be a no, then.
The climax comes when I called, just to see WHEN I'd get my new slow broadband connection. The customer service agent (more about Eircom Customer Service later) said 'We taking a list of enquiries and that will help us to decide which areas recieve broadband'. So your advertising is a market research exercise? Yup. Hello, we all need it. Dig your hands in your pockets and fix those old lines, then we all can.
Eventually it came. I've not tried it. I'm going to try BT's. Well, at least I don't KNOW they're going to rip me off.
Oh, and the bit about the customer service. Once I was trying to get an ISDN (ya I know) business line installed in Castlebar. I got through to a nice young man who put me onto another department (after a long hold period). The other department said 'Oh, business - you need another department' - so off again. I began to laugh (hysterically, albeit), as I'd seen it (or heard it) before with them. They're not really sure about anything. It's not the staff's fault, it's the management.
Anyway, the best bit is that this went on for almost an HOUR! We counted the amount of times our call was transferred. You will be interested to know that in total I spoke to SEVEN customer service / technical agents. Finally I got this welcoming voice on the end of the line (nice young chap) who said 'How can I help?'. I said Erm, well I'm calling about an ISDN connection in Castlebar, County Mayo and I've been on the line for almost and hour. He said 'Oh my god! I took your call in the first place!'.
And hi to the poor call center agent at Eircom who didn't realise that she hadn't put us on hold and continued to swear at the database on the computer infront of her. She was a little embarrassed, but I've got to say that it was about the only funny thing Eircom ever did. The rest really wasn't funny, it was just a joke.
dr34m3r
Article #004
23/04/2004